I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
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I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
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And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize