My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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