I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
how drunk are you?
Several
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize