We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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