At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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