he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize