he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize