i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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