Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize