why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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