You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize