look no pants
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize