Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize