my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize