The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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