Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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