ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize