Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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