It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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