some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize