She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dick very happy bro
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize