the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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