Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize