just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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