This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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