oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
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i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
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You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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