Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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