It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize