I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
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My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
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He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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