Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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