Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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