no, he came in my armpit
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
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My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
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Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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