I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize