If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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