I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
then he tried to convert me to islam
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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