dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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