dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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