He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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