I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize