Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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