Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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