I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize