My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize