i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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