i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
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I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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