The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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