Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
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Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
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its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
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