you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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