Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize