I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
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dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
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You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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